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The Red Badge of Gayness
South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle ... 
Go God Go XII
In the previous episode, Eric Cartman froze himself in an attempt to make his three-week wait for a Nintendo Wii pass quickly. A freak accident landed him over 500 years in the future -- and now he's ... 
Crack Baby Athletic Association
Cartman has a new protege and plans to help out babies addicted to crack. Kyle is brought in on the ground floor of their new business venture, the "Crack Baby Athletic Association". 
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Hooked on Monkey Phonics
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Mrs. Cartman is about to give Eric a present. Of course Eric is hoping it will be some kind of toy, but it ends up being Hooked On Monkey Phonics to help him win the big South Park Annual Spelling Bee. Kyle finds Rebecca Cutswald to be quite intriguing and tries to woo her with his charm and teach her how to love and learn in public school.
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